Clerical Error

It would be pointless to try to explain to you the letter I received or what laid out before me shortly thereafter, but I will do my best.

My name is Stan Whitman Jr. and I was four years old the last time I saw my father. That was nineteen years ago. Honestly, I could have gone my entire life without ever seeing him again, but I received something strange in the mail last week and I felt it necessary to deliver it to him. A little snooping told me that he lived alone, in a house he designed and built, deep in the Ozark Mountain range, so the long drive gave me some time to process everything.

The hopes I had that this was some sick, poorly executed joke were quickly snuffed out when I arrived at his home early in the morning on day three of my journey. Thankfully, he wasn’t home, but what sent me into a frantic state of disquiet was the distant, weak sobbing I heard coming from the basement. I followed the sound down a long, unlit corridor, until it ended at a door. It was thick and made from a red hardwood, but the frame, to which a hefty slide-lock bolted it, was crudely assembled and unable to silence the sobbing that was coming from just beyond it.

That I may never suffer the nightmares of that morning, by swiftly exiting that place before I witnessed what was inside the room, I can only guess. The door opened into a lighted area, no bigger than a contemporary bedroom, and I was smacked with a cold, humid stench of waste and abuse. Against the far wall, two girls and one boy were shackled with rusted chains and laying on top of putrid, makeshift mattresses fashioned from a wool blanket wrapped around a thin bundle of straw. There wasn’t a full outfit of clothing between the three of them and red, angry wounds covered their famished bodies. It was the first girl’s sobs that I had heard and when the trio noticed me, the pulled themselves off the beds with speed I didn’t assume their emaciated muscles could provide. The boy was the first one to speak.

“Help… us” he forced out with a voice of pain and dehydration. I was on the phone to the police by the time he regained his breath.

I’d like to tell you there is more to this story, but there isn’t. The victims were rescued and returned to their families and their abuser, my father, was promptly arrested when he returned home a few minutes after the authorities arrived. He put up no resistance and never once made eye contact with me. For those of you curious of the letter I received, I typed it out the entire thing below. Thank you.

“Dear, Stanley Alan Whitman,

At precisely 21:27 local time, November, 14th, 2018 (Fourth Term, 336, UTM) your body reached a state of lateness and was subsequently designated as deceased[i] by a Source faction of constituents, acting accordantly within the guidelines[ii], regulations, perpetuities, and concepts set forth by One.

We understand that this will be a time of great trepidation for you, and that is why a requisite period of no less than .0075 Cycles, UMT (75 years) must pass before you will be considered for advancement. You are urged to use this as a period of adjustment, reflection, and acceptance. An entire cosmos has been opened up for you, Mr. Whitman, and you may be interested to know some of the ways our other candidates utilize their Cycle:

  • Hauntings and manifestations[iii]
  • Ceaseless wandering
  • The ability to view deaths from any point in time

 

We know you will have questions; however, it is our hope that the information provided in this memorandum alleviates any concerns you may have.

The exemplary life you led catalyzed this correspondence. By upholding and exhibiting behavior representative of our values, we feel that we would be remiss not to extend to you a wonderful opportunity at the commencement of your Cycle. After lengthy consultations with *//S-z/*[x][iv], it is with utmost pleasure that we offer you a permanent position within the Third Layer, a division of the Genesis Group LLC.

According to our vast records and surveillance, the following actions, on your part, served to elevate you above a nigh infinite number of worthy candidates:

  • Callousness toward your fellow man
  • Ambivalence in matters of, but not limited to, detriment, disease, and derision
  • Abhorrent abuse of both animal and human – with special attention paid to the young
    • To wit, your 18, 14, and 11 year imprisonment of Ruth Meyers, Amanda Kallison, and Jacob Pritchard, respectively
  • Aggressive piousness in the face of overwhelming detractors
  • An undisputed sense of entitlement, narcissism, and requited violence
  • The extermination of perceived “undesirables”

 

For those reasons, and many more, you have been chosen to represent the Third Layer in its predominant aggressions and to be in integral part of our future endeavors. As a member of our ever-growing team, you will be afforded benefits that other realms simply cannot compete with. Not only do we offer unsupervised access, ad infinium, to twenty-two of the thirty-one existing Laminas[v], but we dare you to deny these advantages:

  • Thrice-monthly consultations with your quadrant-appointed scribe, at no cost
  • Unlimited use of company denizens
  • Annual, torture-free meetings with One
  • One (1) complimentary reanimation per millennia
  • A Summoning Ritual [vi] tailored specifically for you

 

In a period not to exceed 42 days, local-keeping, you will receive further information explaining the standards charged upon all sycophants of Third Layer. At this point, your cooperation, and unflinching devotion, is not a debatable manner.

As a fellow necrophant, I want to extend to you the warmest welcome and I speak with no hyperbole when I say that everyone at Third Layer is salivating at the horrific possibilities a being such as yourself has to offer our organization. Keep an eye out for future communications and remember, at Third Layer, incomprehensible torment, for the greater good, is our priority.  

Regards,

Abdul Alhazred

Third Layer Chief Scribe, Quadrant DLVII  

———————————————————————————————————————————-

[i] Per the Amaranthine Act, the term “deceased” describes any being’s applicable vessel that is recently void of life, no longer living, or those who are dead when referring to a multitude.

[ii] Seppuku Policies Form 24.89b – Resulting Allocation of Post-Life Employ was amended Second Term, -673, UMT, to exclude ceremonial, religious, and all other methods of self-murder deemed punctilious by One. To obtain an updated copy of Form 24.89b, please contact your quadrant councilperson, or you may submit a written request to this office following the mandatory rituals listed in your handbook. 

[iii] Hauntings and manifestations, while not requiring preapproval, are forbidden without sufficient reasoning. It should be understood, by the deceased, that each haunting or manifestation draws from their fundamental level of quintessence.

[iv] *//S-z/*[x]: Third-born Vyrl of the **/S-y/*[xx] Dominion and Terrestrial Resource Officiate, appointed Fourth Term, 19, UTM.

[v] Laminas: fluid, macro/microcosmic entities, constructing filament carapaces through which all sentient organisms and all levels of reality exist. As of Second Term, 1, UTM, there have been thirty-one (31) Laminas identified and/or created by One. For further information on this subject, please refer to the compendium, “Fractal Realities, Geometries, Laminae and You”. 

[vi] Refer to sections 17-19, 75a, and 113 subsection C1.2, of the “Established Conducts & Procedures for Possession, Summonings, and Reanimation” for explanations of consequences therein.”

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